Friday, 12 March 2010

Revamp ME!!!!

Can we ask for your help?

Ok so we've clearly come to a halt with posts on TheWhyFile, NO the site is not dead, NO we have not abandoned it. We have loads of new content to add but refuse to do so until we've revamped the site...unfortunately we can't agree on what should stay and what must go, what do you guys think? Answers on the comments please.

As you can imagine we covet sensible comments only.

Thank you VERY much

Simple Simon


Sunday, 14 June 2009

"Expert" Reggae Dance Moves for Men

Reggae/Bashment dance moves have always been pretty wacky, but ive always thought of them as quite spontaneous rather than choreographed. These videos aim to teach you all the latest moves. But I can’t stop laughing at the seriousness of this guy trying to teach you a dance called “The Willy Bounce”. And for gods sakes….who needs instructions on how to do a move called “Row the Boat”?

I’m of the opinion that if you actually NEED these video’s to show you the dance moves….perhaps you should try something else, like ballroom dancing perhaps?

N.B. That is not me, my friends or anyone i know in the pic at the top.....


Thursday, 11 June 2009

Fast Food: The Dream Vs The Reality

So you've seen that glossy billboard ad for the delicious Flame grilled burger on a fresh bouncy sesame seed bun, with perfectly melted cheese, immaculate shards of lettuce, the ripest juiciest tomatoes and relish oozing out in all the right places. Your stomach growls with yearning for the beautiful sandwich your eyes are beholding….So you make a bee-line for the nearest burger bar to order this wonder burger, you double check the poster in store to make sure your eyes were not deceiving you previously and low and behold there is your beautiful burger!! So you tell the cashier you would like to order the “super scrummy lumptious burger with extra cheese” and she gratefully takes your money and goes to prepare your lovely burger….

She returns and hands you a flabby grey lump of lard!

“But I wanted the burger in the picture” you exclaim indignantly. “THAT IS THE BURGER IN THE PICURE” she smugly tells you….

This is an all too common scenario, the gorgeous photos in fast food advertisements never really live up to expectations, so are they lying to us? Let’s take a look…....


The Dream:

The Reality:


The Dream:

The Reality:


The Dream:

The Reality:


The Dream:

The Reality:

(Just to gross you out) FATTY ARBUCKLE'S BEEF 'N' CHEDDER

The Dream:

The Reality:

I think we can safely say: what you see is DEFINATELY NOT what you get......


Wednesday, 28 January 2009


Its been awhile since the last time we have posted, outside priorities have prevented our usual dedication to the site. Please accept our fullest apologies but rest assured that we are BACK IN FULL EFFECT!

Ok to start things off i found this MOST DISTURBING Japanese doll. "Shave the baby"? WTF? Im actually quite speechless.....

Ill let you guys caption this monstrosity!!!


Friday, 17 October 2008

Simon Cowell is King

I'm sure you are all familiar with Simon Cowell (if not where have you been?!!)...if not here is quick info reel:

Simon Cowell
Dob: October 7th 1959
Skills: A&R Executive, TV personality/producer
Business: Owner of Syco (Tv production and music publishing house), he produced a couple hits in his time "So Macho" by Sinitta and some Westlife and Five stuff too, the man was part of a 'Hit Factory' producing some of 80's and 90's most well known pop chart tracks.

Cowell also owns the Idol, X-Factor (UK), Britains Got Talent franchise, Got Talent and American Inventor.....

In short homeboy is 'making it rain' in countries and languages some of us will never see....or understand! Estimated to be worth a staggering $200M (£112M), Mr Cowell can afford to be as rude as he likes.....and he is!

See! Anyway the real reason for this post is to highlight the apparent 'Idol fever' that is taking over the world....yes I said it...THE WORLD!

Ok so we are all familiar with American Idol and Pop Idol, but ladies and gents.....I have a super delight for your comic pleasure. Please take time and indulge in the hilarity below, it is most definately worth it!

Indian Idol

OK so its not in english but you can get the drift....he was....well....erm....LMAO!

Polish Idol

"The kid is not my one" lol

Kazakhstan Idol


Malaysian Idol

"The kids is be not my son" - I love it

West African Idol

"I doesn't care whos wrong or right"

South Africa Idol

The man is actually King

East African Idol

I actually wet myself.....I really did.

Austrailian Idol

This guy is special

There are loads more, go have a look.....

Oh yes, how could I forget the Bulgarian legend that is Valentina Hasan who sang
"Ken Lee"


Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Beware of the Goonch

--This picture is of a small Goonch--

I'm not an amphibious individual, so the ocean, sea, or swimming pool are not going to be places I frequent.

However being the cautious individual I am, I make a point of knowing all the predatory animals and their natural humour me;

Lions - African plains, (Kenya, South Africa to name but 2 places)
Tigers - Asian jungle, (India, Siberia to name but 2 places)
Sharks - Australian, Pacific, African coasts/oceans

OK so your getting the know the beasts above and are familiar with their varied abilities and strengths... Right, well ladies and gentlemen I bring you "The Goonch" ....yes that's right "The Goonch"......"what is it, with a name like that it can't be scary" I hear you say?.........Wrong!

--This is a man eating Goonch--

A distant cousin of the 'Cat Fish'(Siluriformes) this bad boy can grow to 200lbs and 6ft long. "The Goonch" inhabits many waters of the world but attention needs to be drawn to the Goonch's of India. Apparently they have been accused of "developing a taste" for human flesh!

I know crazy right? So here's how it happens, in India the remains of funeral pyres are set into the Great Kali river, this river is inhabited by, guessed it, "The Goonch", so the remains of people past have been consumed by the behemoth fishzilla and thus a thirst for more was born.

Despite my somewhat 'blahzay' account of this it is quite serious, the Goonch's have been hunting live humans! However there have only been 3 reported instances of Goonch's snatching people.
Amongst the victims are one 18yr old last week, a 17yr old in April 1988 and then 3 months later another young boy was pulled below the surface.

People please don't swim, bath or play in the Great Kali river, it could be the end of you!


Sunday, 7 September 2008

Vogue India's less than tasteful "poverty is fashionable" shoot

"An old woman missing her upper front teeth holds a child in rumpled clothes — who is wearing a Fendi bib" (retail price, about £50/$100)

486 million people in India are living on less than 65p ($1.25) per day.

A man models a Burberry umbrella in Vogue that costs about £100/$200.

These wonderfully stark contrasts are brought to you by Vogue India. In its “16-page vision of supple handbags, bejeweled clutches and status-symbol umbrellas, modeled not by runway stars or the wealthiest fraction of Indian society who can actually afford these accessories, but by average Indian people.”

Hey, after all, why buy actual food when you can spend the £100 that took you 178 days to earn copping that very pretty Burberry umbrella? Right, Vogue?


(Pictures from NYT)

Artist Nadia Plesner recently did a campaign for the starving in Darfur:

The image casts a Sudanese child from the troubled Darfur region in the role of Paris Hilton, complete with small pink-clad dog and designer handbag, in order to criticize the media's excessive coverage of attention-seeking celebutantes rather than genocidal conflict. In Nadia's words, "Since doing nothing but wearing designerbags and small ugly dogs appearantly is enough to get you on a magasine cover, maybe it is worth a try for people who actually deserves and needs attention."


Nadia's website: Click! Click! Click!

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