Friday, 2 May 2008

Monstrosities of Tanning

Tanorexic, a definition:

A person addicted to tanning; the disorder in which people may feel that they NEED to be tanned.

Much like anorexia (the root word) tanorexic people are both mentally and physically addicted to tanning.

Physical addiction: UVA rays can give the feeling of euphoria or a natural "high" similar to the euphoric feeling experienced after exercising.

As a tribute to those suffering from this terrible affliction, i have put together a collection of the worst tanning monstrositys known to man........brace yourself.....ill start you off gently.....

Picture collection after the jump....

Wait for it.....I saved the best until last..........


Honest RnB Music..............

Ok lets talk about honest RnB…..I’m guessing at some point you must have used the “Slow Jams Seduction Technique” (and if you haven’t maybe you should try it!). Dimmed the lights and let some sweet melodies from R Kelly, Jodeci or perhaps Jagged Edge fill your love lair?

Well, its time to be realistic…..ITS ALL LIES!


Well let’s face it, think about your favorite line from one of those RnB Lotharios. For example.

Keith Sweat: “lets me lick you up and down till you say stop”………

“Hows about I’m NOT going to say stop at all! So you better make sure you bring a cup of water or suttin!”

So of course this is LIES…..he can’t “lick up and down” for the length of time until his romantic partner says stop….this could in fact be an eternity!


H-Town: “Good loving body rockin’ knockin boots all night long, yeah”

“Ermmm I have work in the morning and who the hell you foolin’… know you aint never fucked all night long in your dam life… aint superman!”


So im campaigning along with the Guy in the video below for HONEST RNB! Tell it like it is fellas…..if she’s in for 15 mins, a peck on the cheek and a knee in the back while you instantly drop to sleep… least be honest about it so she can weigh up her options…..chances are you might still get lucky……LOL


Ghost Ride the Whip: Saudi Arabian Style!

Check this out! It is truly AMAZING....

"White knuckle ride" is an understatement! When i watched the video i felt like i was just waiting for the "Death-Slip"....but thankfully it didnt come.......


The "Billy" Letters

In the late '90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart had a little too much time on his hands and a surfeit of stamps. So, for his own entertainment, the then-unemployed thirtysomething launched a letter-writing campaign to some of the most powerful and infamous figures in America, posing as a curious 10-year-old named Billy.

What better mentor for a 10-year-old than Charles Manson? Little Billy seeks life advice, and America's most notorious killers are happy to oblige....

SPECIAL DELIVERY Geerhart as an actual 10-year-old; the original envelope he received from pen pal Charles Manson

As it turns out, no group hates to disappoint a child more than convicted killers, all of whom responded promptly to Billy's questions about dropping out of school. Their letters, published for the first time, range from criminally insane to downright sensible, offering snapshots of the personalities behind some of America's most hideous crimes.

Lets Start by taking a look at little Billy's correspondence With Charles Manson......who's replies are guarenteed to give you the willies! Click on the mad mans face to go to the page.....


Shit you might want but really don't need: The Champagne light-up thingy......

Karim Rashid teamed up with Veuve Clicquot to create Globalight, a pink illuminated champagne holder that also keeps the champagne at the proper temperature for up to 2 hours. The rose hue of the Rose champagne inspired the pink glow that the globalight was created for.

Limited to a run of 500 (only 50 of those will be available for the U.S. market), the Globalight will be available on Eclicquot in May for £2,225/$4,500.....

That’s a pretty penny! This is clearly just for those living the glamorous life (ie those with more money than sense! but if anyone is buying - one of these would look great on my kitchen shelf!) Be sure to check out the other-worldly campaign photos after the jump.......



Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Its fun to do bad things!

This is 7-year-old Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. He stole his grandmother's SUV Truck and took it for a joyride. Latarian and a friend of the same age (who smokes cigarettes!), drove the SUV several miles. They ran over two mailboxes, hit two parked cars and struck two moving cars before coming to a crashing halt……

When asked why he did it, he said, "I wanted to do it, because it's fun. It's fun to do bad things like drive into a car." He was also asked if he knew he could possibly kill someone, "Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend."

Latarian does think he should be punished though! He said his punishment should be, "No video games for a whole weekened."

He faces grand theft auto charges, but police doubt he'll be prosecuted.

If I ever get pulled over by the police, I can't wait to roll down my window and say, "I wanted to do it, because it's fun! It's fun to do bad things. I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friends..........."..........LMAO



Wednesday's Cut-Eye of Death

"Da fuck you just say"
Amy gives it to em crackhouse style.....
(It actually kinda looks like she just bitch-slapped her body guard! lol)


Snoop Dogg does Country & Western with the legend WILLIE NELSON!

Well we all know Snoop Dogg has a country and western track on his new album, we also know that he attended the2008 Country & Western Music Awards Ceremony.

Well now he has taken things one step further by making a remix with Country legend Willie Nelson for the song "Superman"..........

Peep the performance here.....

Now please see the photo below to clarify any confusion anyone might have as too what these two might have in common......LOL


German Artist Floats IN MID AIR! Amazing!

Johan Lorbeer is a German street performer. He became famous in the past few years because of his “Still-Life” Performances, which took place in public areas. His performances feature him in an apparently impossible position.

With his still-life performances, this German artist seems to unhinge the laws of gravity....

For hours at a time, he remains, as a living work of art, in physically impossible positions. Elevated or reduced to the state of a sculpture, he interacts with the bewildered and irritated audience, whose appetite for communication rises as time goes by, often culminating in the wish to touch the artist in his superhuman, angelic appearance in order to participate in his abilities.

I know you must be intruiged about how this guy does can click for a little clue: Click! Click! Click!


The Prick Painter...............

This is Australian artist Tim Patch aka "Pricasso" - "The Worlds Greatest Penile Artist" ( a total nutjob if you ask me).......for a nominal fee this artistic dynamo will come to your party and paint portraits of everyone........using his willy.

He has painted portraits of some of the worlds most famous people including George Bush and the Queen of England.

Over at, they say:

"I know what your thinking, thats so gay. And you could be right. So if you're not into looking at this naked John Wayne with a paint brush, then you can send him a video of yourself and he'll do it up proper and send it back. Happy Mothers Day Mom!!...she never has to know."


For all the voyeurs out there you can check out the site here: Click! Click! Click
Or if you must, video can be found here: Click! Click! Click!


David Blaine's latest stunt - To be screened live on Oprah!

David Blaine's next stunt will involve him trying to hold his breath for as long as possible. David will go on Oprah's show on April 30th to attempt to beat the Guinness World Record live. The record is currently 16 minutes and 14 seconds.

David tried to break the record for breath-holding underwater in 2006, but failed. David has already been buried alive in a coffin for a week, lived in water for 7 days and fasted for 44 days.

I guess if you're going to make yourself go brain dead, you might as well do it live on the Oprah show. Hopefully, he won't be wearing any clothes while he attempts to break the record. I mean, he has to give us something to look at while he's holding his breath for that long........

Source: The Insider


David Blaine beat the world's record for breath holding on Oprah today. He was down for 17 minutes. The previous record was set by a woman in Switzerland for 16 minutes 32 seconds.

Towards the end, David's heartbeat started to get all wonky. David didn't die though and he was even able to speak to Oprah shortly after he came out of that huge snow globe.

He told Oprah, "I can't believe that I did that." Please. 17 minutes ain't shit!...... I know a Rasta Man who can probably go a good half hour before exhaling........

Watch the Video: Click! Click! Click!


Tuesday, 29 April 2008

The COOLEST way to get into your car!!

I bet you cant do it like this!!


Would you like a cup of Cigarettea??

Cigarettea are cigarette-shaped tea bags for people who like to entertain in a subtle way. People will give you glances of confusion as you drop a cigarette into your boiling water.

Let the Cigarettea settle, just like any other tea, and then drink down its tea goodness. It’s important to note that there is absolutely no tobacco in Cigarettea. Though, the thin tube bag shape is easier for transportation if you can’t live without tea time. Now Even non-smokers can have something to tote around in the Cigarette Phone........


Lets meet the most Misogynistic Man in the ENTIRE WORLD!

Meet Dick Masterson; professional male Chauvinist and misogynist - Owner of the website and writer of the book of the same name.

On his website Dick says:

First let me say that this is a site by men and for men. That means no women allowed. If you are a woman, at this point I would like to invite you to fuck off. My tone may seem to harsh for your delicate tendencies ladies, but let me assure you that it is for your own protection. There are secret dealings and divulgings here that would most likely confuse you to a point of hysteria, and I will play no part in that.

Now…men, welcome again to Our purpose here — and let me stress that it is our purpose — is three fold. As men I’m sure all of you realize that the “three fold” is the best and only true nature of purpose. See, we’re on the same page already..."

Apparently "Dick" really doesn't like women and thinks that "all women are whores"*


*Dick is just upset that because he is short, unattractive and self-important, no women actually like him or want to spend any time with him. So lets just call this "retaliation".........


Monday, 28 April 2008

The KLU KLUX KLAN attempts a makeover - Americans "Unimpressed"

In an exclusive interview, exiled Grand Wizard of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan Absalom Knib revealed to Cats With Thumbs a long range plan to revamp and revitalize the moribund white supremacist terror organization. Mr Knib told CWT he aims to make the KKK " more user friendly " and " in touch with the younger generation."

The Ku Klux Klan, with its long history of violence, is the most infamous — and oldest — of American hate groups. Although black Americans have typically been the Klan's primary target, it also has attacked Jews, immigrants, homosexuals and, until recently, Catholics. Over the years since it was formed in December 1865, the Klan has typically seen itself as a Christian organization, although in modern times Klan groups are motivated by a variety of theological and political ideologies. Since the 1970s the Klan has been greatly weakened by internal conflicts, court cases, a seemingly endless series of splits and government infiltration. While some factions have preserved an openly racist and militant approach, others have tried to enter the mainstream, cloaking their racism as mere "civil rights for whites." Today, the Southern Poverty Law Center estimates that there are between 5,000 and 8,000 Klan members, split among dozens of different — and often warring — organizations that use the Klan name.

Cats With Thumbs interviewed Mr. Knib aboard ship in the open ocean, as the Grand Wizard is under indictment in the United States for several felonies and has been denied entrance to numerous foreign ports of call.

CWT: Mr. Knib, given that klan membership has drastically declined and you, the leader, are relegated to living on the high seas without a country, wouldn't you agree the Ku Klux Klan is finished?
Knib: Well, it looks bad now, but we're not done yet. I got together with some old pals from Deutsche Bank and we came up with a plan to get us rolling again.
CWT:Incidents of racial and ethnic violence have steadily declined in the U.S. the past 20 years; people as a whole seem to be maturing - how can you expect the klan to make a comeback when hatred is less a part of the American psyche every day?
Knib: Boy, you don't know squat, do you? You think just 'cause nuthin's going "boom" there's no hate? Everybody still hates the same people they always have - we've just been busy. With the economy steamin' along like it has the past few years, everybody's been workin' - not much time left over for cross burnin' and bomb throwin'.
CWT: So you believe the economy has a lot to do with how people view each other? If everyone has a job they don't need to bully or blame someone else for their situation?
Knib: Huh?
CWT: Never mind. What exactly does the klan want to do?
Knib: We want the same things we always have - no Blacks, no Jews, no Catholics, no Gays, and no immigrants in America.
CWT: Well, judging from the decline in klan membership, it doesn't seem like the "we" is a very large number.
Knib: Oh no, you're wrong there. There's just as many good folks out there that hate Blacks, Jews, and Catholics as there ever was; you just don't see'em much. Problem is, the news media and those liberal (expletive deleted) have everyone thinkin' violence is bad for you, like cigarettes or somethin'.

You can read the rest of the interview here: Click! Click! Click!


Inappropriate toys

I've been forever immortalized on celluloid by my good friends at rotten cotton, they've based a film on my life and you can watch the trailer right here. To celebrate the release of this masterpiece of modern cinema, I have put together some of the worst toys ever.

*Like my life, this trailer is definitely NSFW

Toys after the Jump

I've been on a mission to find the most downright irresponsible toys known to man, not "someone might get hurt" irresponsible, straight "fuck your kids up" irresponsible.

First up is...

1. The Hitler Doll

Coming fully equipped with interchangeable expressions and outfits, this £100 doll, is a must for all budding nazis.

You'd be forgiven for thinking this was a world war era piece of propaganda but no. It was released in the Ukraine just last week.

2. Britney's gash

I decided I would only choose ONE from this site, and steering clear of the obvious, it was a tossup between "obamakins" and this. Ooops she did it again.

To think in 2001 how fervently we searched the internet for naked pictures of her makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

3. Peni Pals


I can't say anymore than what the devil just whispered in your ear. So I won't.

4. Oozinator

Super Soaker board meeting: "ok, we've got kids wet in about every way possible. I have a new idea..."
The video for the product subsequently produced and marketed is safe for work, but if someone catches too short a glimpse of it, you may just find yourself on the sex offenders register.

I feel like I should report this to someone...

5. Pee & Poo

Gives a whole new meaning to rolling in your own piss & shit...

If you come across (not literally) any strange toys be sure to drop an email to


Google Offices in Zurich......Why am i not working there? LETS EXPLORE!!

Welcome to the AMAZING offices of GOOGLE, based in Zurich, Switzerland!!!

Its kind of wacky, but it must be a really fun place to work! WHERE CAN I SIGN UP?

Loads more pics after the jump.......

You can click on all the pics to enlarge them!














You can view more pics of the offices here: Click! Click! Click!
You can also read more and view a video here: Click! Click! Click!

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