Monday 7 April 2008

Not Hollywood, Not Bollywood...but .....Nollywood?


The power of Nollywood and what it has taught us.

I'm sure you are all familiar with Nollywood? You ought to be, it is one of the fastest growing film industries on the planet, currently worth $236 Million and has taken an interesting host of people by storm (Jamaicans love Nollywood movies).

Nollywood is the name given to the Nigerian movie industry, yes I have questioned the name myself as I did laugh a perfuse amount at the "Bollywood" title when that first came to light. I was disappointed to a degree also, all the Nigerians I know and have heard of are always soooo.....resourceful and inevitive, so naturally I thought they would have come up with something better than "Nollywood", alas, thats what they've used and its stuck.

So what is a Nollywood movie and how does it differ from Hollywood and indeed Bollywood.....well there is only really one word I can use to give you and idea....'reality'. Not 'Big Brother' type reality show stuff, but Nigerian reality, you may wonder what is so special about Nigerian reality and how does it differ from your reality, after all we all live on the same planet right......?.......WRONG!

Nowhere in the world will you see a man on a moped carrying a coffin......
Nowhere in the world will you see someone buy a perfectly conditioned car and throw acid on it so people don't know he has money......
Nowhere in the world will you see a haulage lorry carrying 4times its recommend load.....
Nowhere in the world will you see a car with its number plate etched into every panel that can be removed (door handles, wing mirrors, centre console).....

Yes ladies and gentlemen this is Nigerian reality!

Sooo.....you've never seen a Nollywood film and want to know what to expect?

There are categories ofcourse:

1. Comedy - Yes despite the universally sturn face of the Nigerian, they are extremely comical and can see the funny side to some of average Nigerians unorthadox practices

2. Romance - Not in the same way you might be used to it in Hollywood, no sex scenes in Nigerian films......but inuendo's galore!

3. Superstition - One of Nigeria's favourite past times, black magic or Juju as its locally known is a big part of the Nollywood industry and tho has its own category exists in all the other categories of film mentioned.

4. Sci-Fi - this has no place in Nollywood cos it has no place in Nigerian 'Reality'.

5. Pornography - This is an elusive genre, we know it exists, but its hard to find evidence, I've only ever seen "Ikebe Super" and that is just a magazine.

6. True stories - Have you not been reading, all Nollywood films feature Nigerian 'Reality'.

As mentioned in 3. Superstition crosses all movie genre in Nigeria, but religion (prodominantly Christianity) is also very much in there.....I am yet to see a film without the word Jesus being mentioned at least once ("Kai.....Jesus....can you imagine")

Anyway I'm babbling, what has Nollywood films taught us?....

1. With a pastor ... all things are possible.
2. Every problem you have is spiritual.
3. There is never an end to suffering .....except death
4. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo' / joining a cult/ sleeping with rich men.
5. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
6. In every romance movie, someone must die.
7. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and
other times, once you read the title and see the poster you know it all!!!
8. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life.
9. The bad guy always dies or gets caught by none other than the police.
10. No matter the type of movie the closing words are almost always...TO GOD BE THE GLORY

I'm not quite sure why I decided to add this article.....maybe that is the 'Why' in itself....?

Here is a sample of a Nollywood movie of the comedy variety .....sit watch and laugh!

'''Movie Titled: Osuofia in London'''


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